PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
