I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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