dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
this will be a night to untag.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
