dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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