The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
