just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
