My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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