It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
