Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize