Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
