Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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