Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Randomize