i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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