i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
