You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize