He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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