she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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