my vag is so smooth its legendary
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm at about main and main street
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
