Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
