I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
