but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
