the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
