Screwed.edu
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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