You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
