i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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