I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
