Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
