This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
