I'm laying in your front yard are you home
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
