ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
