He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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