i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
