Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
