he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
