16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
