I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
