i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
