i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
