i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
