We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
