I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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