He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
