craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
