tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
