Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize