When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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