if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
