I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
