someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I think people are normalizing furries
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
