from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
