No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
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