you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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