he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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