U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Buhtt sex?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
