We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
