You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize