Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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