The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
