And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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