At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i love accidental penises.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize