my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
