well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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