the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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