Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
