walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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