Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize