so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
