he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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