Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize