You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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