Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
tell me about the eggs
Randomize