Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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