i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
