ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
