i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I am mentally ready for anal.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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