I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
