I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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