You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
