She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
