this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
