so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I wish my penis had an off switch
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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