p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize