I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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