Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize