maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
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